Scene 1: A Lesson in Waste
“Merku nakko ammi, mai nai khatau,” cried a little boy as his mother continued piling food onto his plate. Seated beside his sibling, he pushed the food around, unable to eat what was forcefully given to him. Soon, his plate was filled with half-eaten portions of everything she had insisted he take. This scene unfolded at a wedding I attended with my children—a moment that made me reflect on the culture of excess we have normalized at our gatherings.
Scene 2: A Battle Over Biryani
The aroma of freshly prepared biryani filled the air as a tray was placed on our table. My daughter and I shared the space with other women and children. As soon as the tray arrived, hands lunged forward, each woman pulling it towards herself, eyes fixated on the mutton pieces. It was a tug of war—each determined to claim the best portions. Within seconds, the tray held nothing but rice, abandoned and unappealing to those who had already taken what they wanted. Soon, similar trays with only rice remained scattered across the table. The women called out to the servers, demanding fresh trays of biryani, showing no concern for the food already wasted. The table was littered with grains of premium basmati rice—expensive, fragrant, and now discarded carelessly.
Scene 3: A Wedding in the Spirit of Sunnah
I hold this memory dear. It was the walima of a close batchmate—modest yet fulfilling. The guest list was limited, and so was the menu: biryani, mirch ka salan, raita, salad, and double ka meetha. Simple. Balanced. Sufficient. There was no overindulgence, no excessive spread that blurred the line between celebration and extravagance. The nikah took place in the masjid, and the walima was the only meal hosted by the groom’s family, ensuring no financial burden on the bride’s side.
Similarly, I recall two other weddings within our community that followed this beautiful simplicity. A small group of family members accompanied the groom to the bride’s house for the Nikah, after which the walima was hosted by the groom’s family. No pressure, no unnecessary expenses—just a dignified union in line with Islamic teachings.
The Stark Reality: 9 Out of 10 Weddings Are the Opposite
Unfortunately, most Muslim marriages today reflect the first two scenarios—an extravagant display of food, over-prepared by hosts, over-consumed by some, and wasted by many.
As someone committed to sustainability, I find myself distressed at these gatherings. My heart races with frustration at the careless attitude of my Muslim sisters. I often wonder: Is this what they do in their own homes? Would they allow their children to waste food so recklessly? Why does our ummah, which should lead by example, indulge in such excess?
Waste management is a core value in my household. My children have been raised with the understanding that every morsel counts. Even a single grain of rice left on their plate is enough to earn my disapproval. Yet, at weddings, I see this principle disregarded entirely.
What Do the Quran and Hadith Say?
Islam is clear about food consumption and wastefulness:
- “Eat and drink, but do not waste. Verily, He (Allah) does not love the wasteful.” (Surah Al-A’raf: 31)
- “Spend not wastefully (your wealth) in the manner of a spendthrift.” (Surah Al-Isra: 26)
- “And do not waste, for God does not love the wasteful.” (Surah Al-An’am: 141)
A hadith in Tirmidhi further advises:
“Leave one-third of your stomach for food, one-third for drink, and leave one-third empty for easy breathing.”
The teachings of Islam strongly condemn food waste and encourage moderation, gratitude, and mindful consumption—principles that should extend to wedding celebrations.
What Can We Do?
We can proactively curb waste at weddings. Here are some practical steps we can follow :
- Simplify Menus: Reduce the number of dishes and ensure portions are appropriate for the number of guests.
- Encourage Modest Gatherings: Large, elaborate feasts should not be the norm. Keeping events intimate reduces food waste and financial strain.
- Serve in Controlled Portions: Instead of large communal trays, serve food in smaller portions to prevent hoarding and discarding.
- Implement Food Waste Policies: Establish a system to distribute leftover food to the needy rather than letting it go to waste.
- Raise Awareness: Talk about food wastage in community and religious gatherings.
- Lead by Example: Families should practice food conservation at home so that it naturally extends to public events.
As an ummah, we must return to the simplicity and dignity of Islamic marriage traditions. Our Prophet (PBUH) set an example of moderation and mindfulness. If we truly seek barakah (blessings) in our weddings, we must align our celebrations with the principles of Islam.
A marriage is not defined by how extravagant the feast is but by the foundation of love, respect, and adherence to the teachings of our faith. Let’s rethink our approach and bring back the beauty of simplicity in our weddings—where joy is abundant, but waste is not.
Jazakallah Khairan!!
The views expressed in this article are my personal opinions and should not be considered as general or universal statements.
