“Surely Allah does not guide him aright who is a liar, ungrateful.” – [Surah Zumar 39:3]
Lying is a behavior that destroys a person’s personality, relationships, and self-esteem. A person who lies creates a dual world around himself. This makes him to not only betray others but also himself.
Islam prohibits lying and it is considered a major sin.
And, for what your tongues describe, do not utter the lie, (saying) this is lawful and this is unlawful, in order to forge a lie against Allah; surely those who forge a lie against Allah shall not prosper. A little enjoyment and they shall have a painful punishment.” [Surah Nahl 16:116-117]
It is crucial that we help our kids not to develop this habit.
The Reasons Why Children Lie?
There could be a number of reasons why children lie but in this article, I will be listing the most important of these:
1. Because you lie: Yes! This is so true. Children lie when they see others ( elders) lie and escape a situation. This is especially true with smaller kids. This is the beginning of lying. The first time kids realize that lying can be a means to escape someone’s wrath. Or to get something they want etc. They take it as a lesson. A bad one!
2. Because they are scared: Sometimes kids fear that if they say the truth they have to face bad consequences. To escape from this they lie.
3. To get something they want: If a lie gets them what they need then this is a big motivation to do so.
4. Habit of boosting: Just to get some attention or praise kids lie and boast about themselves.
How to detect:
These are some tips that can help you detect whether or not a kid is lying
- They raise their voice while lying.
- They try to play or get engaged with a toy or something to deal with the discomfort associated with lying.
- They try to avoid questions about the thing they are lying about.
How to fix:
To help Childer get rid of the habit of lying following tips can help:
➔ Stop lying to yourself: Don’t be a negative example. Understand that you are the role model for your kids.
Teach Them That Lying Results in Bad Consequences:
In their hearts is a disease, so Allah has increased their disease, and for them is a painful punishment because they [habitually] used to lie. [Quran, 2:10]
In a very polite and friendly environment, first acknowledges that you know that the child lied. Then tell him or her that lying always has bad results. Explain to them how lying is a disease of the Heart, how it makes one coward, how it changes one’s self-respect and image, and how it destroys relationships
How to Stop Kids From Lying in Islam
➔Teach with stories: Tell them the story that why the prophet Mohammad was named Sadiq. Tell them the story of Abdul Khader Gilani and how he didn’t lie to the robbers even without fearing for his life. Tell them about the boy in the village who always lies that the tiger has come and one day when really the tiger came nobody believed him and helped him.
You can consider checking a book on the way of Prophet Muhammad, etiquette, & good manners. An Islamic book for kids with plenty of resources.
Stories have a very big impact on the human brain. That is why a big part of the Quran is stories of the various prophets and previous generations. Use this to help your kids understand why it is important to tell truth and avoid lying.
➔ Reward them when they speak the truth.
Allah will say, ‘This is the Day when the truthful will benefit from their truthfulness.’ For them are gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, Allah being pleased with them, and they with Him. That is the great attainment. [Quran, 5:119]
➔ Help them say the truth: Do not punish them when they say the truth rather acknowledge and if needed appreciate them. This way they will leave the habit of lying by trusting you and will stop getting afraid of saying the truth.
➔ Tell them this Hadith when they lie:
When a person lies, the angels stay a mile away from him because of the foul odor it causes. – [Tirmidhi]
Tell them that these are angles of mercy and protection. They are our friends and helpers. If they leave us we will be more prone to getting trapped by Shaitan.
