Where Allah has ordered his worship, He also said to treat our parents well and to not even speak to them in a loud voice. Respecting parents is the cause of religious and worldly improvement. Blessed are those whose parents’ shadow is over their heads, and blessed are those children who treat their parents well in all circumstances. The importance of parents can be estimated from the fact that where Allah ordered his worship, He also ordered good behavior from the parents.
وَ قَضٰی رَبُّکَ اَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۡۤا اِلَّاۤ اِیَّاہُ وَ بِالۡوَالِدَیۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا
“And your Lord has clearly commanded that you worship none but Him and be kind to your parents” – [Al-Isra, 23]
How Can We Respect Our Parents?
Parents are the source of a person’s birth into the world. We exist because of our parents that is why Allah has ordered us to treat our parents well and to pay for their rights. The feeling of love is naturally given to all parents. They are the greatest blessing in the world for children. As much as parents are respected, children will be blessed with happiness.
Hadith on Respecting Parents in Islam
Abdullah bin Amr narrated that:
The Prophet said: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger.” – [Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1899]
In another Hadith:
Abu Huraira reported that a person said:
Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness). – [Sahih Muslim 2548b]
If your parents are alive, then I would strongly recommend you to stay with them, and take care of them. Never forget how good they were towards you in your childhood and how they used to take care of you when you were small. The Hadith below states the importance of parents.
Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet (ﷺ) asked him, “Are your parents alive?” He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet (ﷺ) said to him, “Then exert yourself in their service.” – [Sahih al-Bukhari 3004]
Honoring one’s father and mother means being polite to one in one’s conversation, speech, and actions and having a hearty attitude of respect for their status. The real meaning of respect is that you respect someone not only because of their quality or ability but because of their position. Children of all ages should respect their parents, regardless of whether their parents “deserve” respect or not. In Islam, their services have been ordered especially in their old age.
اِمَّا یَبۡلُغَنَّ عِنۡدَکَ الۡکِبَرَ اَحَدُہُمَاۤ اَوۡ کِلٰہُمَا فَلَا تَقُلۡ لَّہُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّ لَا تَنۡہَرۡہُمَا وَ قُلۡ لَّہُمَا قَوۡلًا کَرِیۡمًا
“If one or both of them reach old age in your presence, do not say a word in front of them, nor scold them, but talk to them politely and respectfully” – [Al-Isra, 23]
Related: Best Dua for parents
The Detriment of Not Obeying Parents
Parents have a lot of rights over their children. Doing well to them, not causing pain, and being kind to them is the way to enter Paradise. So causing them pain, grief, disobedience, and mistreatment is the cause of going to hell. That is why Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said heaven and hell are both your parents.
Abu Umamah narrated that a man said: “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), what are the rights of parents over their child?” He said: “They are your Paradise and your Hell.” – [Sunan Ibn Majah 3662]
From this hadith, it is known that the position and status of parents are very high and excellent. If a person pleases them, his world and the hereafter will be enlightened, while displeasing them is a task that will lead to hell. Although if the parents are unjust, still it is necessary to obey them. If the parents are angry with someone, convince them. Even if children spend their entire lives, they still cannot repay the kindness of their parents. That is why Allah has ordered us to pray for them.
وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَارَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
“And keep on praying that O Lord, have mercy on both of them as they have raised me as a child” – [Al-Isra, 24]
According to the Hadith below, being undutiful to parents is one of the greatest sins.
Narrated Abu Bakra:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins?” They said, “Yes, O Allah’s Apostle!” He said, “To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one’s parents.” – [Sahih al-Bukhari 6273]
Conclusion
Respect brings respect. Allah loves those who obey their parents. If we desire to please Allah and be blessed, we must honor our parents. Honoring is not always easy and pleasant. But honoring is a specific path to our goal in a life that glorifies Allah. Now, as we have seen the importance of respecting parents in Islam, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing to Allah Almighty.
